The Language of Room 3111.

A few days ago Jasmyn and I were laughing about all of the ridiculous things we say. She stopped for a second and then asked, "I wonder if people who had just learned English would be able to understand what we say. We talk so different from how we are supposed to!" (Deep, I know.) So then I thought.. I wonder if people who have spoken English their entire lives would be able to understand what we say! So today I'm going to write a little conversation so you can see how we talk.. and then you can try to decode it if you'd like. But I'll translate it for you a little below it. Here we go. Welcome to a day in the life:

J: goodmorning!

H: holla hollaaa.

J: girl i just wanted to sleep in but i had to go to tops -_- we're going to go to bed early tonight. fo real.

H: that sucks.. i slept through stats... again. (fart) YUP. he he.

J: i was in a fight with Henry this morning.

H: fo real?!

J: yeah.. abso the worst.

H: totes bagotes.. we need a new one for sursies.

J: srsly. so will you be home tonight around 5?

H: probsies.. if not i'll put a magnet in.

J: coo. so what are you doing today?

H: idk.. probs just class and then the libs til dinner. and then i'll just head to the wilk and watch some of my high class tv til then. thug lyfe.

J: adorbs.. i'll probs just go to the libs and take some dry froo with me to eat. VAMPY DIARIES TONIGHT! do you know when the lala is?

H: the basketball game?

J: yup.

H: um... 7? 6? 8? i'm not fasho on that. so that's dumb.

J: you are really dumb. fo real. teeheee. just kidding just kidding just kidding.

H: k well imma go to geog.. deuces.

J: seeya beez!

And this is how the conversation would go with anyone else:

J: Goodmorning!

H: Oh, Good morning!

J: I really wanted to sleep in, but I had to go volunteer for American Heritage.

H: That sucks, I didn't go to class as usual. (flatulence) Excuse me!

J: The toilet wasn't working this morning.

H: Really?!

J: Yeah, absolutely the worst.

H: Totally.. we need a new one for sure.

J: Seriously. So will you be home tonight around 5? Because I haven't been able to find my keys in 2 weeks so I'm implying that I'll need you to be there to let me in.

H: Probably, if not I'll leave a magnet in the door or something. Or I'll forget and you'll just have to go through Hannah and Cora's.

J: Cool. So what are you doing today?

H: I'm not sure.. probably just class and then go to the library til dinner. And then I'll just head to the CougarEat and watch Bad Girls Club til I come back. I'm cool like that.

J: How cute. I'll probably just go to the library and take some dried fruit with me to eat. Vampire Diaries is on tonight! Do you know when the thing is?

H: The basketball game?

J: Yeah.

H: Um.. 7?6?8? I'm not really sure.. sorry.

J: You are really dumb. Fo real. (in reference to the video of the Lincoln Park Rapist). Teehee. Just kidding just kidding just kidding (in reference to SNL, must be said in a quiet voice at least 3 times).

H: Well I'm late for Geography. Peace.

J: Bye BFF! (beez can either mean b*tch or best friend.. the one being called the beez gets to decide. It's the rules.)

So there you have it. The real way to hold conversation if you want to fit in with us. Just sayin, better start studying that language.